Weekend post time. Unbeknownst to the other occupant in this household there are little battles taking place every day. Little battles upon which perhaps the very fate of the universe depends, but more likely, not.
The toilet seat "up or down" battle. "Down" won but it was a pyrric victory. I always put both lids down now, in defeat. She is perfectly happy with that even though I can't understand why ... a lid must still always be moved.
The "paper over the roll" bathroom battle, for example. One has to know in advance lest there be great difficulty in finding the end should it get lost. My victory, here.
And how about this battle ... the squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom conflict. She's a top squeezer and I'm a tidy bottom squeezer. The alternating top and bottom squeezes invariably wear a little hole in the aluminum tube and toothpaste leaks out. That wouldn't happen if you always squeezed from the bottom!
Well, secretly I began squeezing from the top, too. It was innocent enough. Toothpaste flowage was good. Then, as the days went by, it became more difficult as the top supply of toothpaste ran out. Then it started becoming difficult. Even for me with my manly hands n'all. But still there was no give; no squeeze of the bottom or middle. Not even a little bit. Soon, it was almost as if the tube was empty. It was real work trying to get a pearl of toothpaste out. I knew she had to break soon.
Ta daa! She broke. She must have given the tube a mighty squeeze from the bottom. She had restored function and flow by bottom squeezing. Do you suppose this would be a good time to innocently suggest that perhaps we should always squeeze from nearer the bottom?
This war I have so far let slide five years ... for the sake of peace and harmony. But feeling ever more secure perhaps it is time to introduce this new battle. I sense victory. Afterall, it has been surrupticiously proven that she is at least capable of bottom squeezing. I have photographic evidence.
Oh, yeah, notice how that little baubble never gets picked up? That's her side of the sink. Drives me crazy.Recommend to those in the know.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Little things in life
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2 comments:
Ah, the old toilet seat argument. As a man, you keep looking for logic and it just isn’t there. She’s happy with you putting the lid down because all she wants to see is you putting in the effort. Forget that crap about falling in because the light was off in the middle of the night, I’ve never met a woman in my life who didn’t check first to see what she was sitting on. I don’t know why women universally have toilet issues, it’s one of life’s great mysteries and one that men can’t solve. I’ve tried and failed miserably, just as many men much greater than I have over the centuries. Makes me glad I’m gay. Honestly, if I was straight I would put a urinal in the bathroom and tell her; There, problem solved, live with it.
As for the toothpaste, I must confess that I’m a bit of both. It’s easier to hold and squeeze the tube near the top but it seems wrong and pisses me off. So I end up putting the cap back on and squeezing the bottom to re-fill the top. I live alone right now so I only have myself to drive crazy. Ever thought of separate tubes?
I've also pondered the toilet delemma. Why is it she is happy putting the lid up to use the toilet but absolutely can not live with putting the seat down? Your a big girl, we want the seat up and you want it down, it goes both ways. If its up put it down just like we have to put it up.
I had a similar incident with the toothpaste tube. She had a habit of not putting the lid on all the way so there was dried little bits of toothpaste on the threads. It pissed me off so I started tightening it as much as I could in retaliation. She got tired of having to struggle with the tube or getting me to loosen it that she gave in and started putting the cap on properly. Little victories can be just as gratifying.
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